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Sunday, October 11, 2009

Stop it.

Questions keep running through my mind. Yet no Ans in return. Have tased the bitterness of betrayral since Primary 3. Maybe its because of that, since than i am dam afraid to lose my friends. Some other stuffs i don't want to mention.

Since i was primary 1 i lost something. Something important and close to my heart. Ahaha But I kept telling myself. Im not the only one experiencing all this bull shit. Hence i just say im aright. I do Have someone to talk to. My mother. But i can't i don't wan her to worry for me. I need alot of care from People i Love. Yet i don't want them to worry. So i cry alone. I cry without sound. Silence. Everyone has Their sad strories. No point comparing whos one is more sad. Everyone is different in their own ways and They can be sad at different times. I tried so hard to not lose people. Sometimes i can't even pick myself up. And I just smile. Because smiling can let me let go of the pain. Untill im alone again, i start thinking of what i
Was sad about. Can't help it but to cry. For me, when im sad, theres nth much that can help me feel better.
When i cry, after a little while i'll be alright. I need to clear my thoughts. I'm not trying to be a emo person
And want everyone to come say cheer up. Smilee blah. I can see who are the ones who really concerns me. So, no need for people to type cheer up for me. Time to start thinking for myself and not get hurt?

Since p5 i
Have aready started to think about what type of Boy-Friend i would wanna have. Just a simple guy who will Give me simple concern, care, love me, doing silly little things to let me laugh. I don't go for material suffs. Not Practical for me. My first few boyfriends was not that at all. Rather all are just sweet talkers. All are Fkers. I would sometimes even laugh at myself thinking about how i cried for you all. Hun's a different Person. It's not easy to describe him just with simple words. Im vry happy to have him yet afraid to lose him, Drifting can really cause a serious problem. At the same time.Megan, another person who concerns me alot. If i were a guy, I would surely love her like Mad and woo her. Because she's something special. She will always be there for me when im sad. She would Never treat me badly even when i neglected her. Which i feel dam bad now, so im trying to let her know how Important she is to me now.van i know you sometimes feel that Megan's my Bestfriend. But your also one of My bestfriend ok? I have neglected you before also yes i know that.

Hence now, im also trying my best not to Neglect you. You guys are very important to me. Klarissa, eventhought i do know we are not very close Aready, i still remember the good times that we used to have. Really missed it. The contract is still with me. So is the note book. Hope we both can bring it back to life again. I have been thinking who am i really? I Sometimes don't understand why i behave like that and yet how am i able to expect people to understand Why am i doing that. During the past, when theres people who are wooing me, i told them. If you cannot Understand me, I don't think we are sutiable to be together. Isit because I want the answer to who i am, or Isit because i want to avoid them. I really don't know. Sometimes people also find me very weird to laugh Over trival stuffs. But thats because i want to be always happy 24/7. Geh, i guess im starting to understand Myself better? Back to the start. Start afresh. Sometimes when theres a disagreement between me and my Friends, Im those type who wants it to be cleared quickly. If it isn't cleared, i will keep thinking about it Again and again. Im really dam easily distracted.Oh well, this post is really wordy.I guess those who really Concerns me would read all the way to the end. While those who don't really care would just read half way?
Lock me to a star#;;
I swear if theres another person
Whos gona hurt me emotionaly,
Im gona ...............................................
Guess im not gona blog for the
Next few days. I want to find
My answers. Let me be alone
For awhile. I need to learn to
Be strong on my own. Rather
Than people keep saving me it
Will become a habit.
Study first. This will be the Future.
I still love you & trust you deeply.
No doubts.
-C

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Me. My name is yi xin,Having a bright 15& Im a gemini,Smack me prezzys on 0606:} -\|My friendster:]\| Peeplys. Love. I love my family.I love megan. I love dogs. I love food. I love sequins. I love feathers. I love stars. I love bright colours. I love heels. I love dressed. I love nail polish. I love tiramisu. I love girly time. I love metal studs. I love shopping. I love paris. I love texting. I love spice. I love me to you bear. I love Vanilla. I love music. I love Holga. Scearming. Goodbye. Megan. &Past. December 2007 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 Thanks. Designer: xo xo. Basecodes: xoxo. With Reference: x o xo. Hosts: x o xo. Hit counter code here.	Sunday, October 11, 2009 Stop it. Questions keep running through my mind. Yet no Ans in return. Have tased the bitterness of betrayral since Primary 3. Maybe its because of that, since than i am dam afraid to lose my friends. Some other stuffs i don't want to mention. Since i was primary 1 i lost something. Something important and close to my heart. Ahaha But I kept telling myself. Im not the only one experiencing all this bull shit. Hence i just say im aright. I do Have someone to talk to. My mother. But i can't i don't wan her to worry for me. I need alot of care from People i Love. Yet i don't want them to worry. So i cry alone. I cry without sound. Silence. Everyone has Their sad strories. No point comparing whos one is more sad. Everyone is different in their own ways and They can be sad at different times. I tried so hard to not lose people. Sometimes i can't even pick myself up. And I just smile. Because smiling can let me let go of the pain. Untill im alone again, i start thinking of what i Was sad about. Can't help it but to cry. For me, when im sad, theres nth much that can help me feel better. When i cry, after a little while i'll be alright. I need to clear my thoughts. I'm not trying to be a emo person And want everyone to come say cheer up. Smilee blah. I can see who are the ones who really concerns me. So, no need for people to type cheer up for me. Time to start thinking for myself and not get hurt? Since p5 i Have aready started to think about what type of Boy-Friend i would wanna have. Just a simple guy who will Give me simple concern, care, love me, doing silly little things to let me laugh. I don't go for material suffs. Not Practical for me. My first few boyfriends was not that at all. Rather all are just sweet talkers. All are Fkers. I would sometimes even laugh at myself thinking about how i cried for you all. Hun's a different Person. It's not easy to describe him just with simple words. Im vry happy to have him yet afraid to lose him, Drifting can really cause a serious problem. At the same time.Megan, another person who concerns me alot. If i were a guy, I would surely love her like Mad and woo her. Because she's something special. She will always be there for me when im sad. She would Never treat me badly even when i neglected her. Which i feel dam bad now, so im trying to let her know how Important she is to me now.van i know you sometimes feel that Megan's my Bestfriend. But your also one of My bestfriend ok? I have neglected you before also yes i know that. Hence now, im also trying my best not to Neglect you. You guys are very important to me. Klarissa, eventhought i do know we are not very close Aready, i still remember the good times that we used to have. Really missed it. The contract is still with me. So is the note book. Hope we both can bring it back to life again. I have been thinking who am i really? I Sometimes don't understand why i behave like that and yet how am i able to expect people to understand Why am i doing that. During the past, when theres people who are wooing me, i told them. If you cannot Understand me, I don't think we are sutiable to be together. Isit because I want the answer to who i am, or Isit because i want to avoid them. I really don't know. Sometimes people also find me very weird to laugh Over trival stuffs. But thats because i want to be always happy 24/7. Geh, i guess im starting to understand Myself better? Back to the start. Start afresh. Sometimes when theres a disagreement between me and my Friends, Im those type who wants it to be cleared quickly. If it isn't cleared, i will keep thinking about it Again and again. Im really dam easily distracted.Oh well, this post is really wordy.I guess those who really Concerns me would read all the way to the end. While those who don't really care would just read half way? Lock me to a star#;; I swear if theres another person Whos gona hurt me emotionaly, Im gona ............................................... Guess im not gona blog for the Next few days. I want to find My answers. Let me be alone For awhile. I need to learn to Be strong on my own. Rather Than people keep saving me it Will become a habit. Study first. This will be the Future. I still love you & trust you deeply. No doubts. -C 11:45 ·

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